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Trip to Temptations Resort Cancun, Mexico

Come quick! There's an orgie happening on that other balcony! At first she thought just one woman was receiving oral sex, but upon further inspection, we saw there were actually four couples going at it in various positions and vigorously at that! Did we go inside? Of course not.

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Scarlett, a curator as a museum in the Chicago area, is a bit more conservative than I am the bar is very low, keep in min but is always up for an adventure. We were both ready to let loose and have a good time.

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We arrived at Desire Riviera Maya near Cancun, and were greeted with champagne by the hotel's concierge and manager. We sipped our drinks, as they explained the rundown of the hotel's rules and events, then were escorted to our room by our personal butler yes, personal butler.

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It was luxewith a giant personal jacuzzi, an expansive rainforest shower, and immaculate marble floors. I stripped immediately. I love being naked.

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After a few days at Desire, I never want to swim in a bathing suit again. There were actually four couples going at it in various positions-and vigorously at that! But she was on Team Naked as soon as the bubbles hit her bloodstream, running right out the sliding glass doors in the buff.

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No one at Desire was awkward about the whole nude thing. You could be as naked or as not naked as you chose to be.

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We wandered the beaches and pools in sarongs, then would take them off when we got to our seating area. Most people just ambled around completely naked.

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We sat naked in our personal beachside cabana, swam naked in the ocean, and then afterward, popped naked into our personal Jacuzzi. There is so much to do at this resort and its sister resort, Pearl, more on that below.

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There are nightly theme-parties, a giant hot tub lounge where people have a lot of sex note: I did NOT go in there because that is folliculitis waiting to happenmultiple restaurants, and a fabulous pool.

The food is ridiculous.

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There are amazing restaurants at both resorts; cuisine varies from Italian to seafood. We had one of the most incredible bruschetta mix plates of our lives on this trip, along with lobster as the main course.

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We drank approximately 76 glasses of champagne that day, then went to a lavish dinner of steak and chocolate. You can have as much food as you want. You do, however, have to wear clothes when dining at the restaurants.

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After dinner, we went back to our hotel room, drunk as lushes on spring break, and promptly passed out at 10pm. But we realized why everyone wanted to know-it was because we were a fantasy. Such is life.

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The second night we decided to have a three course meal by the sea-one of the many romantic and sensual add-ons available at Desire. One option was make-your-own-porno, wherein a real videographer would come and film you having sex with your partner.

After our romantic dining experience, we made our way to the show on the main piazza.

Desire puts on a show every evening and female guests seem to get very into the theme, dressing in sexy costumes and mesh clothing. The true spectacle was not the highly talented pole dancer, however, nor the feather bikini clad strippers, but Lisa, a very drunk, very exuberant hotel guest.

Lisa volunteered for everything. She climbed into a prop bathtub and had champagne drank out of her snatch. But more impressive even than Lisa, was a couple in their mid-seventies. Both card carrying members of the AARP, the woman had her breasts completely out of a top that ended just beneath them.

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Her seemingly demure husband wore a fanny-pack, cargo shorts, and a Hawaiian shirt. They go to Desire and resorts like it on the regular.

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They regaled me with a story of a gang bang on a prior visit, during which Sheila serviced several men while Bernie watched. I learned nothing on this trip if not that penises are as unique as snowflakes.

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Extremely hungover, Scarlett and I spent the next day swimming and sunbathing. Being in the pool at Desire was like being the human manifestation of Saturn, surrounded by a ring of dongs.

Spending 24 Hours In A TOPLESS HOTEL - Temptation Resort Cancun

It was a buffet of naked men, all with vastly varying penis sizes. The crown jewel of the pool scene was a rather rotund man in his sixties with a truly astonishing Prince Albert a penis piercing, for the uninitiated.

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